walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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