Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
