Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
