Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
