she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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