you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
