i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
