I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
