My sheets look like a crime scene.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
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