Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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