I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
