"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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