The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize