sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
