I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
