Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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