On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im drinking this country out of the recession.
if only i could text you this smell
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
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S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize