conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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