Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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