i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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