I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
