Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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