Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
