Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Hippo gnu deer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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