this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
