so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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