I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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