Whod you bang
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
