sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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