you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just want to make out with him forever
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
