i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
