My room smells like vodka and shame
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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