1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You work out of a Hotel?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
