The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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