Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
