did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
