Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
