I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
