Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU