im about as happy as oj after his trial
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts