where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
