he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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