she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
