im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
