you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize