No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?