we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
