I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...