I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?