i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
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you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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