Duck Duck Cougar?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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