she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
