that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
