I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
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So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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