put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
