i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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