I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
