"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
