On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
