You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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